Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
