Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
