I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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