Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
