I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
