but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
