saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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