if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
that's an acceptable place to lick
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
