I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
