im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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