i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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