I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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