Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
