Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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