I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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