glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
