There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
