I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
