yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
