Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
