Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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