I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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