If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
