soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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