Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
