I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
