You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
