I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
