SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
