so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
