he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You ate ashes out of my bong
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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