Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
