we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
