Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
someone owes me an orgasm
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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