I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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