guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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