There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
