You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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