what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
