Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
