Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
