We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
