i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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