so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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