Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Panties = found
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