They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
