That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
