i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
