You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
