I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
