garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My life is pants optional.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
