So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
