I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
