Pregnant stripper...not hot.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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