I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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