I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
