A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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