Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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