Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
