Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
