Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
