Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
