sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
